I haven’t read many progressive Christian responses to the Josh Duggar scandal. Maybe, it’s because I avoided all Christian responses related to Josh Duggar. Stories about the sex abuse within the Duggar home, and the media train wreck that followed, make me want to distance myself from Christianity.
And it’s not just that I want to distance myself from Christianity. At one point, after reading the umpteenth sympathetic blog towards Josh Duggar, I wanted to completely absolve myself from my Christian faith.
Christianity felt like massive spider web draped over head and covering my entire chest.
“Get it off of me!” my inner monologue screamed. “Get it off of me.”
Just how exactly did Josh Duggar cause me to lose my faith?
Josh Duggar’s indiscretions didn’t cause me to nearly lose my faith because I was shocked that sex abuse exists within the church. Hello, I was raised in the church. I’m well aware that abuse exists.
The revelation that Josh Duggar had sexually abused five girls, including some of his sisters, put the Duggars, and their lifestyle, in the spotlight. What caused me to nearly lose my faith was remembering how, for a time, I believed in that lifestyle.
My freshman year in college I connected with some extreme pro-lifer fundamentalists. As the daughter of a couple of teenagers, I was a prime recruit. I had survived abortion— or rather survived the very logical option to abort. My mother chose life for me. And 18 years later I found a very close-knit tribe to connect with over this fact.
I was young and impressionable. The theology of the body sounded beautiful and poetic. Birth control sounded sinful and bad. As a woman, why should I have control over anything. Isn’t my faith about submission?
I fit in well with fundamentalist. My passion, drive to please, and enthusiastic story telling made me a favorite for testimonials. But after spending my junior year of college in Philadelphia, I realized that fundamentalism didn’t make sense in any context outside of our small prayer group. (And to be honest the militaristic nature of the prayer group in light of the Iraq war never settled well with me.)
Nowadays I gloss over that part of my faith as, “that time in college when I joined a cult.”
Seeing the Duggars splattered across the news and Twitter brought all those memories back. And it forced me to remember how much I believed I knew when I was a part of that “fellowship.”
I knew that people were going to Hell if they didn’t have an all encompassing relationship with Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. Sure, you may think Jesus is your friend— you may even think He’s your savior— but if you aren’t “all in” you are going to Hell.
I knew that birth control was murder. Sure you may think you just want to wait to have children, but if you’re using ANYTHING except the barrier method you might be killing a baby. (And why are you even using the barrier method? Slut.)
I knew that God talked to me. I had undiagnosed hypo-mania, so boy oh boy did He talk.
I knew these things. And I was so wrong. If I was wrong about so much that I knew so strongly, what am I wrong about now?
So what is my progressive Christian response ?
I’m filled with as much doubt as I am hope. And I have a lot of hope.
That’s the good news that I want to share. That’s my response to Joshua Duggar’s sex scandal.
There is hope for those who have been victims of sexual abuse. There is hope for you who are survivors.
There is hope for the teenager who is struggling with gender identity or sexual orientation.
There is hope for the single mother who can’t afford to feed her child.
There is hope for a state that is not able to fund itself.
I believe with everything in me that nothing is beyond hope. And that our source of hope comes from this intrinsic higher power— full of love and goodness. I call Her God.
My progressive Christian response this sex scandal, and every other disaster, is to focus on the hope.
My associate pastor gave a sermon on Evangelism last week. (I know what you are thinking— are Mainlines allowed to do that?) The truth is we have good news to share. We believe in this hope that has been revealed to us by Jesus.
I don’t “know that I know that I know,” anything like I used to. But I’m not gonna let that stop me from focusing on hope and sharing the good news.
