You Are Not Alone: One Friend Shares her Story to Help Break Stigma

When it comes to mental health, people often suffer needlessly because stigma prevents them from seeking the help they need. But that doesn’t have to be the case.

My friend Heather wants to share her story to help break stigma.

My longtime friend Heather recently shared her story with me in hopes that it will help break the stigma surrounding mental health for others.

I’ve known Heather for 25 years and in that time she has always came across as strong and tough. From the outside I never would have pegged her as someone with anxiety. Heather said that anxiety always existed just beneath the surface.  

“I would worry about everything and always think the worse,” Heather said. “I’ve just always been like that.”

Heather describes her anxiety as persistent, but manageable. But a 2014 house fire pushed her anxiety to the brink.

Heather was in her house with her daughter and mother when they heard the explosion that led to the house fire. They survived the fire but their house didn’t.

“After that I wasn’t sleeping at all,” Heather said. “Any time there was any sort of loud noise, once I heard it I would go into a panic attack.”

Heather said the smell of smoke also caused panic attacks and even little things seemed to throw her off the handle emotionally.

“I had no control over my emotions what so over,” she said.

Like many people, Heather said that she felt as though she should have control and resisted seeking help.

“I was scared,” she said. “I just tried to ignore it.”

Fortunately, Heather had a friend who persistently encouraged her to seek help.

“I’m very grateful that I had someone pushing me in the right direction,” Heather said. “I don’t know how bad I would have gotten.”

Heather made an appointment with her primary care physician who prescribed her medication for post-traumatic stress and anxiety and also offered resources for talk therapy.  

Heather stayed on the medication for six months and then was able to come off it. Now she said she can better recognize her triggers and manage her anxiety without medication.

“I’ll still have days where I just get really overwhelmed,” Heather said. “It’s just one of those ongoing issues for me.”

Heather shared her story with me for this blog because she wanted to encourage others who are scared to seek help for mental health issues.

“The biggest thing I want to share is that they are not alone,” Heather said. “There are so many people that are facing the same thing that they are. It’s okay to reach out and to get the help that they need.”

My Failed Fall Re-Boot

Pumpkin spice lattes are now available, which I believe means that fall has officially arrived.

I wanted to do a fall reboot this year. I’ve been in a funk and had hoped that Labor Day would signal a new era in the life of Arley Hoskin—one where she eats meatless meals and the interior of her car remains spotless. I want to be a person who cares about the planet enough to eat less beef and who has it together enough to see the floor board of her car.

While I admit I’ve never had a clean car, I did used to be rather crunchy. I used to buy local, grass fed beef from farmers I actually knew. I used to use cloth diapers and tote everything in canvass bags. I used to work on exciting projects on social issues I cared about.

These days I’m hitting up McDonald’s about once a week. We seem to be in potty training limbo using disposable pull-ups that will probably linger in some dump in China for thousands of years. My biggest project right now is remembering to turn off all the lights before I leave the house in the morning.

I guess in a lot of ways I was hoping that my re-boot would be more like a rewind to a time where I had enough energy and memory to be socially conscience. I only have one child and yet I have started to call her the wrong name before. In my defense it was the name of my youngest sister who also used to be a toddler. Totally a legit mistake, right?

I firmly believe that life is exists in rhythms and seasons. The church recognizes this through the liturgical calendar. Right now we are in a season of “ordinary time.” It’s the time after the excitement of the Holy Spirit’s arrival at Pentecost and before the anticipation of Christ’s arrival during Advent. We are in ordinary time.

I am in ordinary time. This is not a season for huge social activism or the busyness of projects. Yes we can, but for now I need to take a break and ask my 2-year-old if she needs to use the potty. Of course I still have my crunchy convictions, but they don’t seem to be playing out in exciting, sexy ways these days. Nope, these days my crunchy convictions are playing out in the most suburban of ways—I ordered a recycling bin off of Amazon Prime yesterday to help stream line my recycling. I’m actually very excited about this purchase.

Maybe it’s not a re-boot that I need. Maybe I just needed a little re-focus—a reminder all seasons have their purpose and all seasons have reason to celebrate. I have plenty to celebrate during this ordinary time. And celebrate I will, while I sip on a pumpkin spice late and toss the cup into its appropriate bin on my new recycling container.