Stupid shuffle

Because I lack the discipline to be a full-time writer/blogger, I found a daytime gig at a local United Methodist Church last year. This job is the perfect fit for me. It’s an open and affirming church with an extremely generous congregation who are passionate about social justice. I’m one of those lucky people who loves her job, despite how I act when we face a printer jam.

Having a low stress job helps stabilize my mood, but more than that this job keeps me engaged with my community. The church is in the heart of downtown Lawrence, Kan. Lawrence is a college town and progressive haven for us liberals who live in one of the reddest of states. In many ways Lawrence feels like a little slice of heaven in the middle of corn fields and Koch brother politics.

But in reality Lawrence has the same issues that all communities face- poverty, addiction, cycles of oppression. It’s easy to look past the homeless man standing at a corner downtown when you walk back from lunch. (A little too easy as I seem to do it most days.)

But when the faces of poverty come stand at your desk and tell you their story, you can’t really turn away. Well, maybe you could, but if you’ve ever read Matthew 25:40 you will probably feel like a real asshole when you do.

(And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,  you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:40..

In Kansas utility companies cannot disconnect your service during the winter months because of something called the “cold weather rule.” When this disconnection ban lifts at the beginning of April it sets off a domino effect. People who have neglected their utility bills in order to pay other expenses are forced to fork up the funds or have their service shut off. During the spring and early summer social workers scramble to find money to help people pay their past due utility bills.

In my short time at the church, I’ve discovered that if you use the pastor’s discretionary funds to help out even one person outside of your congregation social workers take note and send EVERYONE your way.

People in need end up being shuffled from one social service agency or church to another. Often times they never find the help they need.

And that appeared to be the case today when an exceptionally young couple came into our office. (Seriously, kids are looking younger than they used too. Is 20 the new 12?)

I was the only one in the office when the couple arrived. They walked in holding hands, wearing old, torn cloths. Both of their eyes were sunken in and they looked like they could use a long bath and a good night’s sleep. They needed about $700 worth of help in utility assistance, a number far beyond what we could give them.

As the young man stood there telling me his story- he had been injured on the job and on workers compensation- I couldn’t help but wonder what his story really was. How did he and his girlfriend get to this place where they were forced become vulnerable to a complete stranger in order to get help with their bills? What was his childhood like? Did he ever have the educational opportunities to get a job that wasn’t so demanding on his body? Did he grow up in a home where they lived paycheck to paycheck? Had he seen what it was like to have the stability afforded to so many of us?

I could go on and on about with questions I had about this couple. Those questions will never be answered. What I do know is that they needed financial help that I wasn’t able to give them. All could really do was shuffle them to the agency. In this case it was the Salvation Army.

And the other thing I could do was look the man in the eye, shake his hand and wish him luck as he continued on his journey. It’s not much, but hope it gave him some dignity. I really hope so, because when I looked in his eyes, I swear I saw the face of Jesus.