Do's and Don'ts for the Holiday Season

I enjoy Christmas lights and eggnog as much as the next gal, but let’s face it most of us experience more stress than good tidings during the holidays.

Over the years I’ve found ways to make the holidays, not just bearable, but actually enjoyable. I know this is is shocking, right? Unless is not shocking and you are one of those lucky people with fond memories of your childhood Christmases. If that’s the case you can go ahead and skip this blog and get back to browsing Pintrest for homemade Christmas decorations.

Here are some Do’s and Don’t’s for the holiday season for those of you who, like me, may experience anxiety during this time of holiday cheer.

Do set healthy boundaries. Remember you can’t be everything to everyone. And if you come from a split family and/or are in a relationship you likely have at least four places to attend each holiday. Find what works best for you and your household and stick to it. This may mean saying no to some invites, but remember your sanity is just as important as the feelings of your Great Aunt and third-cousin twice removed.

Don’t allow guilt trips from your family or in-laws to get to you. I’m not a mother yet, but it seems that somewhere during the labor and delivery process mothers receive these superpowers that allow them to give guilt trips like no other. I’m very lucky that my mother doesn’t use these during the holidays. But if I didn’t set healthy boundaries she might be tempted to. She is, after all, a mother.

Do reach out to your doctor if your anxiety and depression starts to get worse this time of year. An antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication can help regulate your moods in a safe and healthy way.

Don’t self medicate. There is a difference between having a glass or two (or three!) of wine at a Christmas party and turning to alcohol to drown your sorrows and numb your pain. The former is fun and festive the later is dysfunctional and self destructive.

Do create traditions that are meaningful for you. My husband and I try to go to the Christmas Eve service every year as our “tradition.” I say try because we’ve only actually went once. One year there was a blizzard so bad that churches actually cancelled their Christmas Eve services. Every other year he has worked and this year he’s on-call. So, maybe that tradition was a bad example, but you get what I mean.

Don’t set your expectations too high. Things happen and the holidays are never as picture-perfect as they are on TV. Unless they are for you, in which case why are you still reading this blog? Shouldn’t you be on Pintrest?

Do give yourself lots of grace. So you didn’t pick out the perfect gift for your mother-in-law? No biggie. So you burned the pre-made sugar cookies? Who cares. You forgot the date and time of your extended family gathering? Don’t worry, there’s always next year.

Don’t completely shut down. It’s not healthy to isolate yourself from your loved ones when feel depressed or anxious, but it’s what we tend to do. If you feel yourself shutting down, take a minute and reach out to your “safe” person. It could be your best friend, or your spouse, or you sister. Whoever it is for you, reach out. Don’t keep yourself in isolation.

Do feel free to leave comments if you found this blog helpful.

Don’t stop reading this blog if you are one of those people who have great holidays. I forgive you for continuing to read even after you were instructed to go to Pintrest.